Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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