hotel room ftw
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
