Are we in a gay sports bar?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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