TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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