her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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