I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
