Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
