Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
