ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
