i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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