C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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