Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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