how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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