Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
