he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize