well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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