Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
