life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
