then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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