Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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