he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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