Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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