3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
