I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
