Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you had me at cake vodka
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
