so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
