she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
