gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My penis needs a shock collar
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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