white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
