Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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