Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just saw a hot homeless man
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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