Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize