im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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