Don't you send me to vm
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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