OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
worst night to have a conscience
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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