Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
