Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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