My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
