dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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