Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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