I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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