Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
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I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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