Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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