Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Never joke about your clitoris.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
