I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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