Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
