evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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