I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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