so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
