love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
