u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
