I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
