Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
