He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
