If i come over, it means nothing
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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