if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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