You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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