but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
