I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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