If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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