..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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