can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
