just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
