but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
