just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
